Invest in your social life like it's a 401(k): Older Americans share how loneliness and money are connected in retirement

Getty Images; Jenny Chang-Rodriguez.BI

• More than 3,300 older Americans have shared their financial and other regrets with Business Insider.
• Some older adults said tight budgets and a lack of savings were contributing to loneliness.
• This is part of an ongoing series about older Americans' regrets.

Taffi Ozenne has a few simple and inexpensive joys in her life.

When she feels lonely, she counts them: a hot-fudge sundae at McDonald's ($3.79), a walk with her dogs (free), and the first puff of her cigarette ($9.63 for a pack) on a sunny afternoon in northern California. The 68-year-old repeats the list over and over.

"In those moments where I'm wishing I had a friend that I could do something with, I just gravitate toward my dogs and say, oh, I got two friends right here — let's go for a walk," she said.

Since mid-September, more than 3,300 older Americans like Ozenne have shared their retirement regrets with Business Insider through a reader survey or direct emails to reporters. Loneliness is a common theme.

Some said they regretted not saving more, as a lack of money makes it difficult to maintain a social life. Many said they struggled to ask friends and family for help, further isolating them from loved ones. For an older generation already facing a loneliness crisis, money woes are making it worse. This story is part of an ongoing series.

With no retirement savings, Ozenne is trying to get by on her $1,739 monthly Social Security payments and the money she cobbles together through part-time jobs at a law firm and a bowling alley. She said her schedule feels nonstop but she needs the work so that her total monthly income is slightly above $3,000, enough to cover her bills.

Ozenne said that her budget didn't allow her to travel or go out with friends and that she felt increasingly isolated. She said she regretted not saving enough to support herself in her 60s or 70s and worries she'll have no one to care for her as she ages.

"It's mentally exhausting," she said, adding, "I don't want to be a burden to anyone."

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Limited retirement savings take a social toll

In a survey of US adults commissioned by Cigna and conducted by Morning Consult in late 2021, 63% of respondents who earned less than $50,000 a year and 41% of respondents over 66 said they felt consistently lonely.

Having limited income can erode social connections for older adults. Social Security checks aren't enough to cover many retirees' bills, and some don't have enough of a nest egg to afford a night out, holiday gifts, or gas to visit family members. Meanwhile, the costs of meals, flights, and concert tickets have crept up.

"My 'golden years' are not golden at all: I live alone and have no friends," one respondent in BI's survey wrote. Another wrote, "I feel hopeless, I'm lonely, and my health is rapidly getting worse."

Joseph Coughlin, the founder and director of the AgeLab at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, said that high costs of social activities, housing, and transportation could lead to social challenges for retirees.

"If you do not have the financial resources, you're pretty much constrained where you live," he said. "You may not be able to afford a place that gives you the opportunity for those chance collisions with friends and, frankly, new people."

Susan Harper lives on less than $1,000 in monthly Social Security, plus SNAP benefits, but she has no nest egg or investments. The 66-year-old recently moved from Oregon to Washington, DC, to live with her sister. They're sharing household bills until Harper can secure low-income housing in the area. (Harper is on a waitlist.) Harper said that while she appreciated her sister, she missed her community. She said she often declined invitations from new friends to go to bars or restaurants because of the cost.

Harper said that while she needed to move to receive financial support from her sister, living in a new city had made her lonely.

"It's just a very difficult time, and it's very isolating," she said. "Especially as I get older."

Older adults regret not having a support system as they age

In the University of Michigan's National Poll on Healthy Aging conducted in March, older adults who weren't working, who lived alone, or who had lower household incomes were more likely to report feeling lonely. About 29% of adults 50 to 80 reported feeling isolated from others some of the time or often within the past year.

Coughlin said social isolation could exacerbate the risk of cognitive and physical decline for older adults, which may increase the likelihood that they need assisted care later in life. Genworth Financial, an insurance company, found that the median monthly cost of an assisted living facility in the US was $5,350 in 2023 — a price many older Americans told BI they couldn't afford.

John Keefe, 84, lives alone in Arkansas on his $2,700 monthly Social Security check and limited retirement savings. Keefe lost his son in 2011 and his wife in 2023. He said they were his main support system.

Keefe said he didn't travel much outside his hometown, and he worries about how he'll take care of himself when he can no longer drive to appointments or the grocery store. He said he wished that he and his wife had built a stronger financial cushion.

"I've outlived everybody," he said, adding that it was especially challenging to make connections as a widowed retiree.

Though there's no one-size-fits-all fix for loneliness, Coughlin offered a few suggestions. He said prospective retirees should think about "longevity planning." In addition to building a nest egg, he said, arranging the social aspects of retirement earlier in life — such as living near friends and family and developing hobbies — could reduce the risk of loneliness later and help people budget.

"Yes, it's about how much money you've saved — but it's also about all those other little things that make you smile and contribute to quality of life," he said. "That has to be planned as much as your 401(k) or whether you had your annual checkup."

Government and local assistance can also be a source of relief for older Americans struggling with finances and loneliness. The National Council on Aging estimates that 9 million older adults who are eligible for SNAP benefits don't receive them, and many forgo aid like Medicare Savings Programs designed to help pay for healthcare and other expenses. Many local senior centers offer free or low-cost social activities, transportation, and benefits counseling.

Ozenne is taking her life day by day. Because she works several jobs, her income is likely too high to qualify her for many forms of government assistance. So she sits at her kitchen table working on her monthly budget, and she stops by McDonald's for a hot-fudge sundae if she needs a pick-me-up. Her days still feel lonely, but she tries to "put on a brave face," she said. It helps to know she isn't the only one in this position.

"There are a lot of people — we're laying in bed awake at night wondering if we're going to make it through this month and if we're going to have enough money to pay bills," she said. "And if not, we wonder: What can give? What can I do without?"

Noah Sheidlower contributed reporting.

Are you experiencing loneliness because of your finances? Are you open to sharing your story with a reporter? If so, reach out to allisonkelly@businessinsider.com.

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