I started flirting with a coworker after meeting on a video call. 4 years later, I moved to London to marry him.
Courtesy of Rachel
- Rachel, a PR professional, began a relationship with her coworker, Alex, during the pandemic.
- After six months of long-distance dating, the couple met in person in Mexico and knew it was right.
- Rachel moved to London, they got married, and she's settled into her new life in the UK.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Rachel, a 31-year-old public relations professional in London who chose to withhold her last name for privacy reasons. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
After graduating from undergrad in South Dakota, I moved to Chicago for grad school in 2016. I then started working at a global PR firm. It was there that I met Alex, 29, in 2019.
He was based in London, and we worked together on a project but only ever met online. For five months or so, we had weekly calls with the global team. Most of our 1:1 correspondence was via Teams messaging, which is where a little flirting began.
In March 2020, I was traveling in Egypt with a tour group when everything started shutting down. It was a very scary time to be out of the country.
Alex reached out to me on Instagram to ask if I was OK
We had never met in real life, but he cared about me as a person. At the time, I thought it was really sweet. It soon became the turning point of our relationship.
When I returned to Chicago, I enjoyed cozying up with my dog during lockdown. Alex got back in touch again because he wanted to hear about my trip and check in on how I was doing.
We couldn't see our friends or family, or go out, and everyone was just sitting at home watching movies and learning how to bake bread.
Alex and I started messaging more and more
It started out really sedate, but then it got more flirty. We decided to FaceTime, and our first conversation lasted over four hours. I'd never experienced that before, but it was easy and fun.
We began speaking on Sundays, and then it slowly grew into daily FaceTimes. We got into a really good routine of chatting at lunchtime in the US, which was when he finished his day in the UK.
It was a very sad and lonely time, so this became a silver lining for us both.
It quickly turned romantic, and that posed some tricky questions for us
My family and friends were initially skeptical of who this mysterious British man could be, but I think they could tell by how I spoke about him that I was 'catching feels' quickly. I was excited about him, and they, like me, just decided to see what happened.
We asked each other if there were people at work we should tell. Keeping a secret felt weird, but we decided to wait to tell our coworkers.
I didn't have to worry that he was reviewing my work or I was reviewing his. That would've made it harder. Sometimes, we would be on the same calls and need to collaborate, but our job responsibilities were so separate that it made it very easy.
After six months of long-distance, we flew to Cancún to meet each other
Courtesy of Rachel
My biggest fear was that our virtual connection wouldn't translate to an in-person one. I was worried I was falling in love with the idea of him rather than the actual man he was.
We decided to meet at a resort in Mexico in August 2020. Within minutes of our meeting, all of those fears and self-doubts immediately went away, and I knew I was both in love with him and he was the most remarkable person I had ever met. Our connection was real, and being with him was easy, comfortable, and exciting.
From there, we took every opportunity to meet up
We tried to see each other as often as possible when we were traveling for work or by making a special trip. We were generally able to see each other every two months, and we've been to 13 countries together.
There were many FaceTime conversations with our families before meeting in person, so my family already knew and adored him long before actually meeting. I met his family in the UK in October 2020.
My grandmother died in July 2021 and he was able to come to her funeral and meet my family. That's when things got really serious.
We told the people we worked with in July 2021
When we finally told our colleagues and some of our clients, they were generally shocked, but within a few seconds, it turned to excitement. People were thrilled for us, and I think they were a little impressed that we could keep it under wraps for so long.
Our bosses were also unbelievably supportive. I think they were more amazed at our ability to travel around to see each other while taking the same days off work without anyone catching on.
Work went on like normal, and we were conscious of keeping our professional and personal lives separate.
We got engaged in Iceland
Courtesy of Rachel
When you're dating internationally, there are only so many opportunities to see each other and propose in person. We had spoken numerous times about timelines for the future and how we'd finally be together, so I knew an engagement was coming.
Alex got my family and friends to throw me off the scent by convincing me he was going to propose during his visit at Thanksgiving in 2022. When he got on one knee during a trip to Iceland that September, I was happily surprised and overjoyed.
I decided to move to London
Courtesy of Rachel
We put all of our options on the table to see what made the most sense for us. The timeline for me to move to the UK was the fastest and easiest option.
In July, I quit my job, packed up everything, including my dog, Stanley, and moved to London.
We got married in September, and then I applied for a spouse visa, which was very expensive.
I started a new job in January and we recently moved into our own place. I finally feel settled here.
My advice for people who meet at work is to set boundaries
Every situation is going to be completely different. Prioritize your relationship, but don't let it impact your work. Both of us are very career-driven, so we were conscious of creating boundaries that separated those two worlds.
Work will be the one thing you immediately have in common, but focus your conversations on getting to know the other person. You don't fall in love with someone by discussing office gossip and talking about projects. Separate the two worlds to get to a deeper level.
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